Oct. 4th, 2017
I sat today at the kitchen table, stitching up littlest one’s stuffed rabbit (3 ft long, green rabbit he mostly uses for a pillow)…confession: the thought crossed my mind…”is this what my life’s come to? Is this all I get to do in life, for the Lord, for humankind?” And then, I was immediately shamed at the idea that that thought crossed my mind. That I asked that question. “I’m so sorry, Jesus. I KNOW this is important. Serving my children, stitching up the things that mean something to them so they can live and love and feel secure and not have puffy stuffing all over their bed every night. And I know he won’t even notice, unless I point it out to him. He won’t even know I pricked my finger and bled and…cried (shamefully!)…he won’t even say thank you or notice that I took the time out for HIM and felt all this junk over this!”
He (Jesus) was so quick to send a softening to my heart and an undescribable grace to my spirit-that clench in my chest was immediatley gone as He expressed revelation and an acknowledgmeent of what I was doing as being so beautiful to Him and one of the most precious things I would do that day to serve Him, to show Him love, to serve my family, to be a help meet to my husband so he could do what he needed to do, to obey and lower myself below what I thought I was capable of, to rest and KNOW that I am important and loved and valued and cherished and SEEN in the small thing of stitching up my son’s stuffed animal, even though I could be capable of so much more…that’s what He asked me to do today and it needed to be and WAS enough and it was important and amazing to Him. Oh, my heart.
Stay at home moms…you are like gems to Jesus. I firmly believe He sees us more than He sees the most famous pastor who’s saved 1000 people and been to 100 countries. I know He loves us all equally, but He SEES us, He knows what it’s like to day in and day out serve and expect or get nothing (sometimes it feels that way) in return. Our reward is not in the “thank you’s” from our kids because believe me, as they get in to their teen years, especially if you have boys, you won’t hear much of those. Our reward isn’t in our husbands coming home saying, “Oh my gosh, babe, the house looks beautiful and the kids are all so well taken care of and fed, and clean, and happy, and taught about Jesus, and soccer pros, and all their clothes are so clean and the yard looks amazing after you worked so hard to plant and water those flowers all summer, and your body is aaa—maaaa-zzing and I just want to touch you and make love to you and never even look at anyone else because of all the working out you do every day to make sure you look great for me, and your hair is gorgeous after coloring it to hide the grays every TWO WEEKS, and you are so beautiful on the inside too and humble because of all the time you’ve spent in between everything else you did today to seek the Lord and find Him and become more like Him by giving up the last thing you could think of of SELF to be totally and completely given over to Him!!!!!!!!!”
That’s just not what happens. But, working moms, I’ve been there too. I’m not leaving you out. Oh, no. Work all day, fix everything for your kids to have a great day, for your husband to feel ready for that crap job (or not so crap job), and still get up, beautify yourself (as my dad used to say), and go change the world, then come home and love on and give to your husband…oh, babe, I feel you. I do. At least, if you’re trying to love others well. If you’re catering completely to yourself, I can’t relate. But, come on, if you have kids and you love those snotters, you’re giving of yourself, whether you like to think so or not. So, relatable, right?
What I’m saying is this, it’s not actually about how much you did today to influence and affect the greater population, or how many people you actually influenced slightly, or gave some great quote to. It’s about what you did to LOVE the people He’s put in your sphere of influence. If you ONLY touch those kids that He (because even those of you who don’t believe God exists–you’d admit, you’re not worthy of that amazing kid, amiright?! I know I’m not worthy of any of mine, so if you say you are, you’re just proud and that’s not really attractive) allowed to be under your care, what are you doing with those few? Are you giving them the best shot at life? Are you giving them everything you’ve got? Are you giving them every ounce of love and life you have to be a good steward of that life that’s been entrusted to you? I’m thinking if you really know and believe that eternity is real you are. I try with all of my being to remember that. Every day. Gosh, I suck so many days. But I want to try. Every day. Start over. Give it your all. Give Him your all. Give those you have influence over your all. You won’t regret it. You’ll be tired, I’m not gonna lie. But you won’t regret it.
Amen.
Jody Simmons 